Party Until We Pass Out!
by Paladins
Summary: Gan Ning and Ling Tong are dancing to Jump On It. Sun Shang Xiang is stripping. Lu Xun is riding the fridge door. And Sun Ce is nuzzling Da Qiao's butt. Party they'll feel in the morning, if they don't remember it. AU FIXED!


**Disclaimer: I own no characters**

_This is me trying to write a humor fic. I don't usually. So it might not be that funny. But I thought it was. So maybe it was just in my mind. Oh well, its up and ready for ya'll to try._

_**Edit: **I now fixed Gan Ning's part. And added a little more about Taishi Ci!_

Da Qiao gave a sigh, hands on her hips as she bent over to stare at a drunken Sun Ce. He laughed on the floor, flipping his hair out of his face and grinning up at her. Da Qiao, over the roar of the room, knew she was the only one in the entire party who hadn't taken a drink. She refused to, really. She only drank the bottle water that hadn't been opened yet. Xiao Qiao had already called her a pussy wimp.

At that thought, Xiao Qiao called her, almost in a whiny voice over the music. Da Qiao gave a sigh, telling her fiancé to wait a moment, turned to her little sister who wasn't even of drinking age. Xiao Qiao was draped over her boyfriend, Zhou Yu, looking totally indecent while he swayed and sung along to the music. Da Qiao hadn't known she had a twitch in her eye until this day. She jumped, hands automatically going to her skirt and holding it down. Looking behind her, she fought the blush as she gasped. Her fiancé was nuzzling her ass. "Sun Ce!" she yelled. He just moaned contently. Xiao Qiao laughed, falling even more onto Zhou Yu.

"Pillow," Sun Ce said, smiling as her skirt started to ride up.

"No!" she yelled, smacking him on the head. He pulled back, blinking up at her owlishly. "No," she repeated, glaring down at him. The grown man actually pouted. "Come on." She urged him to stand up, and eased him onto the couch, on which he collapsed on her, face in her boobs.

"Pillow," he said again, much more slurred this time. Da Qiao didn't even stop the blush or sigh this time as she brushed the hair out of his face. Xiao Qiao continued to laugh non-stop. She was sure her little sister was going to fall off of the couch if Zhou Yu hadn't been holding her around the waist. Continuing to run her hand through his hair, Da Qiao glanced around at the party.

The only other ones in the house who still looked somewhat sober were Gan Ning and Zhou Tai. Zhou Tai still looked like he could do all the stupid human tricks for the police. She had to wonder if he ever got drunk. Gan Ning had a swagger in his step, and looked too over confident. More so than usual. But he at least looked like he still held some common sense. Or would have if he wasn't dancing to Jump On It with Ling Tong and Sun Shang Xiang in the middle of the floor. The boys were on either side of her, doing the dance _far_ to well. Even better than Sun Shang Xiang. It was funny scary.

Sun Shang Xiang though stumbled out of place with a squeal, grabbing onto Zhou Tai for support with a fit of laughter. Gan Ning and Ling Tong continued, ignoring her. She clung to Zhou Tai still, who was trying to help her get her feet under her. "Tia!" she shrieked, making the poor man flinch. "I'm hot!"

"Hn," he said, finally getting her to stand on her own.

"I'm gonna… gonna take my shirt off!" she declared with the happiest grin. A flash of panic crossed over the older mans face, eyes instantly going to Sun Quan. Probably for help. The youngest Sun son was dead asleep on the bar, sprawled out with sharpie all over his face and one eye brow shaved. Sun Quan gave a snore in response to his sister, rolling over and consequently off the counter. He'd feel it in the morning. Zhou Tai flinched again, quickly returning to Sun Shang Xiang to keep her shirt on.

"No~o," she whined, squirming away from him. "You're hot too," she said with a smile, then laughed. Zhou Tai rolled his eyes, fighting with her to keep her shirt on. Ling Tong fell, tripping over his own feet, and glanced around obviously lost for a moment. The song changed.

"You!" he declared making Gan Ning stop with the hip thrusts. "You did this to me! You pushed me!" He blinked as he spoke, trying to point at Gan Ning.

Gan Ning glanced around the room, also a little lost before grinning. "Damns right I did!" He beat his chest, as if it was such a great achievement. Ling Tong lunged for him, again tripping and doing a face plant. Gan Ning went to pile drive the younger man, who was barely of drinking age, but was stopped from a vicious growl from Zhou Tai, who was now trying to keep his shirt on.

"I'mma gonna stop. But it's because of the scar, ya know," Gan Ning said, stepping back from the moaning Ling Tong. "The scar. It just, like, completes the look of evil and doom. It's like… the cherry on top man."

"Cherry!" Sun Shang Xiang said in a sing song voice, finally drawing Gan Ning's attention. "Ni-poo!" she said, reaching for him. He was already shirtless, but the happened from before he had started drinking. Da Qiao had to wonder if he had come with a shirt. She couldn't remember. Gan Ning caught her, glancing to Zhou Tai.

"Watch her," he said, still as menacing as before as he went to check on Sun Quan. Gan Ning just smiled and nodded. Sun Shang Xiang immediately started pulling at her shirt. If Sun Ce hadn't been dead weight on her chest, Da Qiao would have tried to go save her. She really would have. Instead though, she turned to watch poor Zhou Tai. Lu Meng and Huang Gai had taken over the counter, singing Karaoke to whatever song was playing. Whether they knew it or not really. They weren't entirely bad, if they could hit the right notes together, Da Qiao thought with a flinch. She saw Lu Xun from the corner of her eye, and glanced to him and gave a startled gasp. He was riding the refrigerator door. Taishi Ci was trying to take the door off of the fridge as Lu Xun was riding it like it was some kind of rodeo. Da covered her mouth, unsure how to respond to _that_ image. The boy shouldn't have been drinking. He was about the same age as Xiao Qiao wasn't he?

Zhou Tai fixed Sun Quan so he wasn't sleeping on his face, and turned to see Sun Shang Xiang now working at her pants, her shirt on the fan. He charged over, obviously deciding she would not be naked by the end of the night. He smacked Gan Ning, who was staring at her bouncing boobs in her red lacy bra. Which really wasn't the best support. Gan Ning stumbled away, looking to be ready in tears as Zhou Tai gave Shang Xiang his jacket to cover up. She fought it at first, until she thought Zhou Tai was going to give her _all_ of his clothes. In which she started cheering him on, begging for his pants next. Ling Tong was back on his feet at this point, deciding he really had to pee and was yelling for the bathroom. Gan Ning pointed him to a fern in the corner. Da Qiao swung around, avoiding that image. Only to see Xiao Qiao sitting on top of Zhou Yu, sucking faces with him.

Disgusted, she reached for her half empty water bottle and threw it at her head. "Hey!" she shrieked. They both stopped to stare at her as if she was some knew alien. "That is my _underage_ sister!" Zhou Yu stared at her for a moment, as if he almost got it. "_**Jailbait!"**_ Zhou Yu's eyes turned into saucers, and he removed her from his lap and stared at Xiao Qiao like she was some disease. Which worked just well for Da Qiao while he was drunk and stupid. Xiao Qiao, who didn't get it, glanced between both of them.

"Go dance," she ordered. "Gan Ning needs a partner. And he's shirtless." And half sober, Da Qiao thought. Xiao Qiao giggled, clapping her hands, and stumbled off to him. He glanced down at her when she wrapped her arms around his waist in shock, pulling at his pants so they didn't fall from the way she clung to him. He glanced back to Da Qiao, then to Zhou Tai. Between the looks, he officially got the message. Da Qiao didn't think it was the scar this time. Sun Shang Xiang waved to her, calling out to her. Xiao Qiao returned the call in the same tone. Gan Ning herded the youngster away from Sun Shang Xiang, who went back to trying to steal Zhou Tai's pants.

Da sighed, quite content to be smothered by her fiancé. It was much easier than what Zhou Tai was doing. It didn't get any better when both Lu Meng and Huang Gai both started trying to sneak to the stereo to raise the volume. Which wasn't allowed because they couldn't have the cops showing up. Da Qiao pitied the Wu bodyguard as he protected them all. And probably taking more drinks than anybody else. Da Qiao knew she'd of broken her vow not to drink at these things if she was given his responsibility. She jumped when there was a crash. Lu Xun lay sprawled across the kitchen, chanting "Victory!" over and over while Taishi Ci ran into one of the bedrooms with the refrigerator door, trying to be sneaky no doubt. Pushing Ling Tong into the fern along the way. Da Qiao just hoped Lu Xun wouldn't approach one of the candles after he was done with… whatever it was he was doing.

Zhou Yu started drinking again, passing out moments later on the couch. Drooling and kicking at the pillows at the arms. Others slowly followed. Lu Xun, Ling Tong, and Sun Shang Xiang being the quickest besides him. Xiao Qiao, after dancing around with Lu Meng and Huang Gai, singing her heart out, curled up in a cabinet. Lu Meng took the counter. Huang Gai the table. Gan Ning retired to one of the bedrooms, just sober enough to realize that sleeping on a bed would be a lot less cramped then say, a cabinet or a hard table. And Taishi Ci wasn't seen again from whatever bedroom he chose. The next morning they all found him in a closet, guarding the door in his sleep. Finally, Da watched, with a yawn of her own, as Zhou Tai sat down ceremoniously on the floor and drank his fill. He was still up when she curled up under Sun Ce, asleep as well. Admittedly, she felt safe under the guard of the silent man.

_The idea first came to me with the idea of Ce nuzzling Da's butt. And then Sun Shang Xiang trying to strip herself and Zhou Tai. After that, I decided they'd do that drunk. So I took some drunk stories I knew from friends (I've never been to a party of this caliber) and put it together with all of them. Quan passed out first was from the ending when he fell alseep before Zhou Tai. I think it was in DW5, Zhou Tai's ending. Don't ask me where they are partying. I have no clue. And I tried to use all of the characters. Except Sun Jian. Becuase he would have ruined the fun. Huang Gai was a stretch too, but Lu Meng needed a buddy. Please Review! Pretty please! I don't write a funny too often, and would like to know how I did._


End file.
